PC Bricks 15, Richmond 7

Despite rumors that Richmond has been supplementing its roster with ringers who don't work for the city (rumors which were later found to be true in at least one instance), I came to the park with expectations of a big game between two undefeated teams. It didn't take long for those expectations to be dashed. By game time (5:00) there were only a few Richmond players present. They had fifteen minutes to get the minimum of eight ready to play or they would lose by forfeit. As 5:15 drew near, Richmond still didn't have the minimum number of players present to start the game.

Richmond's manager, Jerry, apologized for the delay, explaining that a large part of his team didn't get off work until 5:00. We came to the park to play ball, so we were willing to accommodate them. By 5:30 Richmond had the minimum of eight players present but Jerry assured us a couple more were on the way. After a few more minutes another player arrived but it became apparent the tenth player (a woman) wasn't going to show.

Under our league's rules, the fifth man is not allowed to play because a team cannot field more men than women. Jerry asked if we would allow them to play with five men and four women and have an automatic out declared when the fifth woman's spot came up in the ninth spot of their batting order. Again, we generously allowed them to skirt the rules when it wasn't required of us.

Play finally started at about 5:40 and almost immediately, Richmond tried to cheat. Jerry insisted that the white ball James was pitching was not the official game ball. He maintained that the City of Richmond provides the game balls and the yellow ball held in reserve by the umpire was the official game ball.

Jerry was wrong on both counts. The City isn't providing the softballs for us and the white ball was in fact the official game ball provided by our league. It was noticed that the yellow ball Richmond tried to slip into the game was not the .44 COR 375 COMP ball required by the City of Richmond's own co-ed softball rules. The ball they insisted is the proper game ball was .47 COR 525 COMP. So, what do these numbers mean?

COR stands for coefficient of restitution and it's a rating of the ball's bounciness. It's the percentage of reduction in speed for a ball bouncing off another surface. For example, if a ball is shot at 100 MPH at a wall and it bounces back off the wall at 50 MPH, its COR rating would be .50. Our league's COR .44 balls would bounce back at 44 MPH. The higher the number, the bouncier the ball is and the farther it will fly when hit.

COMP is short for compression and it describes how many pounds of force must be applied to squeeze the ball one-quarter of an inch. It's a rating of the ball's hardness. The higher the compression rating, the harder the ball and the farther it will fly when hit. In terms of game play, a .47 COR 525 COMP ball will fly about 6% farther than a .44 COR 375 COMP ball. In other words, a ball hit 190 feet with one of our league balls would travel about 201 feet 5 inches with Richmond's juiced ball.

Anyway, James tried to reason with the Richmond crew but they wouldn't listen. The umpire was no help, as he didn't know the difference between the softballs beyond their surface colors. We relented and played with the illegal ball insisted upon by Richmond. In hindsight, I think I know why Richmond was so adamant about using their illegal ball. Have a look at the men on their team. They're generally big and powerful while not exactly built for speed. If you had a team like that, wouldn't you prefer to play under conditions that make it easier to hit the ball over the fence? I certainly would but I wouldn't be willing to cheat to gain that edge. Richmond’s skullduggery would come back to haunt them, as I will divulge later.

The next flare up occurred after Lawrence singled and was subsequently forced out at second base on a fielder's choice grounder. On the play, Lawrence slid legally to the bag to avoid colliding with the woman playing second base. Richmond's pitcher immediately started barking that Lawrence's play was unsportsmanlike. As was the case with Richmond most of the day, he was full of rubbish.

Lawrence did exactly what the rules allow. On an infield force play, the runner is required to slide, stop, or veer out of the infielder's way. Lawrence chose the first option as it gave him the best chance of reaching second base safely. If Lawrence had gone into second base standing up and collided with the fielder, it would be illegal and the umpire could call it a double play. As Richmond would discover soon enough, there would be a price to pay for angering Lawrence with a false accusation of dirty play.

Unfortunately, the problems in that inning were not over. The force play that retired Lawrence at second base was the first out of the inning. When Carlos was retired a few batters later for the second out, Richmond insisted it was the third out. I had the scorebook so it was easy for me to account for every batter that inning. I showed it to the umpire and to Jerry but Richmond kept insisting there was a third out. I invited them to identify their imaginary third out in the scorebook and they couldn't do it. Still, they insisted there was another out. Everything that happened was right in front of them and they refused to acknowledge it. How are we supposed to reason with people like this? Finally, after delaying the game for several minutes, they conceded their imagined out didn't exist and we should still be up with runners on first and second and two outs.

In Lawrence’s next at bat, it would be time for Richmond to feel the sting of their earlier subterfuge. Still angered by the false accusation of dirty play, Lawrence muscled up and blasted a towering drive over the leftfield fence for a decisive three-run homer. As it turned out, it was Lawrence, not Richmond’s lumbering sluggers, who would take advantage of their juiced softball – not that Lawrence needs a juiced softball to hit one out.

During batting practice earlier in the week, Lawrence hit several deep shots that reached the fence on one bounce. Those shots were hit with old batting practice softballs so we know Lawrence has the power to reach the fence, even without a juiced ball -- but the extra 6% provided by Richmond's illegal ball made a difference and Lawrence's blast easily cleared the fence, landing in the outfield on Nicholl Park #1.

In yet another instance of illegal play, we identified one of Richmond’s players as an employee of Kaiser Hospital. She does not work for the City of Richmond. You'd think if they were going to bring in a ringer, they wouldn't get her from the hospital a block from our office where a large percentage of us go for health care. After the game, she spoke with some of our players who recognized her from the hospital and she acknowledged she doesn't even know most of the players on Richmond's team. I would love to hear them explain how an employee of Kaiser hospital is on the City of Richmond’s payroll.

If this is how the Richmond team operates, I have the deepest sympathy for the teams that have to play them twice this season. Luckily for us, this was our only game with them. I would hate to play another game in which we have to watch the other team and the rule book like a hawk. Our last two games with the Mod Squad and the Master Batters went without a hitch. Not so with these guys. My advice for those who will be playing these charlatans in the coming weeks is to make sure you bring your rule book to the park. You're going to need it.

I'll have to write up the full game report at a time when I'm not so ticked off.